Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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