My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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