Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
