I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
