apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize