Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
