There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
