Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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