You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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