Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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