Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
