My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
