Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
