What did we do last night that was yellow?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
