you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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