you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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