these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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