don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
