yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
