Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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