WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
