I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
