I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
