I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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