so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
cat food counts as protein by the way
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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