What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
its liver damage thursday
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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