john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize