that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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