Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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