you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
