she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
