Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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