My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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