I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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