You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
