A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
