Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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