okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
