It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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