So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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