So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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