I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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