I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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