She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
