I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
