Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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