Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
