I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
