Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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