Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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