wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
