Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
