I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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