Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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