I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
