Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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