yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
