i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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