I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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