so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
