Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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