who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
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Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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