Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
