They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
